Suicide: The Easy Way Out?

There is often a notion banded around that suicide is in some way ‘weak’ or that is ‘the coward’s way out’ and this often happens during the aftermath of a celebrity taking their own life. The latest case of this is the tragic death of Robin Williams, who hung himself at his California home at the age of 63, after having suffered for many years with depression, drug and alcohol problems.

The sentiment that suicide is cowardly is something which I simply can not agree with. Suicide is very often the final act of someone who has suffered for a very long period of time with some kind of mental illness, and I think that is due to a lack of understanding about illnesses such as depression and other anxiety disorders which leads people to form such a skewed perception of the nature of suicide, and about those who take this final, very drastic step. 

Taking your own life is never an easy way out. Imagine being so completely consumed and overpowered by innumerable mental traumas that it leads you to the conclusion that the only way to solve your problems is to never see another day. To feel so hopeless and lost that you simply can not find hope or solace in anything or anyone is almost beyond my comprehension, it must feel like being sucked into the darkest realms of existence. I have felt particularly sad on several occasions in the past, as though nothing interests me anymore and everything is a pointless exercise, but these feelings have always passed very quickly and can come absolutely nowhere near to being described as depression or any other mental illness. I believe that it is the misconception that depression is just ‘feeling sad’ which is most damaging when forming opinions about those who suffer with this awful illness, and those who take their lives as a result of it.

Mental illness is especially tragic because it shows no visible signs and can not be treated in the same way in which a physical injury would be. People will often say things along the lines of ‘cheer up, nothing’s that bad’ or ‘there are people who are much worse off than you are. Some people don’t get to have the choice between life and death.’ Whilst I do understand that people who have had a relative die of a terminal illness, or themselves are suffering with a terminal illness may think that it is ‘selfish’ for someone to kill themselves, I can not agree in any way with sending people on some sort of guilt trip for feeling suicidal, as a result of a condition that they can do nothing about. My Nan died of cancer not so long ago and it was terrible to see her go through it in those last months, but it still doesn’t change my perception. Any illness can bring about death, whether or not it manifests itself physically or psychologically, and people’s problems should always be approached with understanding, sympathy and compassion, not condemnation or ignorance. 

Of course it is not only depression which can lead to suicide, which I have already alluded to, as there are many other extremely damaging mental illnesses, such as bipolar disorder, schizophrenia and psychosis, to name but a few. I really do feel that if people were better educated at a young age about these disorders it would instil a much better understanding throughout society and that it would also remove a lot of the stigma and shame which so often shrouds these issues in a terrible veil of confusion and judgement. I’m a firm believer in trying to find out the root causes of issues before I form an opinion on them, and I really do try not to judge anyone. I know nothing is ever completely black or white and that there are far too many mysteries and subtle differences when investigating peoples’ states of mind, and because of this people should never be condemned or belittled. 

I think the closest I've ever come to getting a picture of the mind of someone who is suffering with a mental illness is through reading Sylvia Plath’s ‘The Bell Jar.’ To all intents and purposes the novel is only a slightly fictionalised account of Sylvia Plath’s own battle with clinical depression, her previous suicide attempts and her admission to a psychiatric hospital when she was in her teens. This novel is made even more poignant by the fact that she did eventually take her own life at the age of 30, very shortly after it was published. 

For some reason suicide has always fascinated me, in particular the suicides of people who have fame, money and adoration and are seemingly doing what they want love for a living, as in the case of Robin Williams. These tragedies serve as a telling and obvious sign that no matter what external ‘riches’ a person seemingly possesses it will never be enough to keep the demons away in a persons’ mind. 

I confess that I am not a huge fan of Robin Williams’ work, due to having only seen a  handful of his films and hardly any of his stand up. Even so I recognise that he was an incredibly funny and naturally gifted comedian who brought a smile to many faces, and that his performances in films such as ‘Good Will Hunting’ were extremely moving. My favourite line of his comes from ‘Good Morning, Vietnam’ where, whilst on the radio, he says ‘It’s O Six Hundred, what’s the O stand for? Oh my god it’s early.’ It was indeed far too early for this brilliant comic genius to leave us. I hope he can find the peace in death that he was never able to find in life.  

Love's Cruel Winter (a poem)

I know that a blog isn't usually the medium used to publish poetry, but it can't hurt, just this once! It might not be that great a poem, It's my first proper, completed one of any note really. Judge for yourself, it might be totally shit...

Love’s Cruel Winter

There stood he,
His back agin the wall,
Note clutched in hand.
A tear escaped his eye,
And rolled down his face,
And he was clutched in Winter’s cruel embrace.

His heart was in tatters,
Much like the ragged paper,
Betwixt his numb fingers.
The pain burned inside him,
Without respite.
Would she ever return?
She wouldn’t… she might.

Their love,
He thought,
Was etched into the sands of time.
But these sands had been
Fashioned into glass,
And shattered.
All hope was lost,
All remnants, scattered.

No! Hope was never lost,
So long as a man could feel it in his heart.
He would pursue her,
And coax her from her false,
Mannequin lover,
Before they ventured afar.
This mishap would leave
No lasting scar.

Alas! He was too late!
Time had won a dreadful victory against him.
It was a grave twist of fate.
The two false lovers
Sailed away, on the ocean breeze.
Heartbroken,
He suffered, he grieved.

There he was once more,
His back agin the wall.
But no tear was on his cheek this time.
Just a vacant expression,
As he swung, motionless, from the tight,
Cold line.

The damaging effects of the Porn Industry

I’ve seen a lot of porn in my life, I admit it. So you could say I’ve done my research on this topic. Years of it.

I stopped watching porn, and I’d like to say that the primary reason behind this was because of the obvious and blatantly abusive nature of the porn industry, but it wasn’t, it was because I saw a study which showed the way in which porn desensitises the brain to the actual reality of what sex is. After reading this particular study I thought something along the lines of ‘oh well fuck that then, I better not watch it again else I’ll end up losing my mind by the time I‘m 30.’

I already knew that the overwhelming majority of porn was pretty much ridiculously over-exaggerated fantasy sex which doesn’t occur in normal life (or very rarely occurs, in any case) and that the women, and men, employed in the porn industry were taken advantage of and abused, but it never stopped me watching it. Now that I’ve taken a step back from it I can truly see how harmful and damaging porn is to the actors and actresses involved, and also the multitude of damaging effects that pornography has on society as a whole.

People start watching pornography at a very early age nowadays, thanks to the phenomenally easy access that the internet provides. The average age that a boy will view porn is now eleven years old. I’m not in favour of putting statistics into my blogs if I’m honest, as I want everything that I write to essentially be my views on the topics which I feel strongly about, but I did quite a bit of research for this one, which I have used to structure parts of  this blog. I was quite taken aback by some of the things that I found out, but I have to say, I wasn’t overly shocked by any of it.

Porn depicts women as sex objects, nothing more than a pair of tits and a few holes, but you knew that already. The gratuitous sexual acts that these women have to perform is pretty hard to imagine, or at least they would be if they weren’t becoming commonplace in mainstream porn. Things that you would consider to be pretty filthy acts to undertake in bed with your Wife/girlfriend/stranger are pretty tame when it comes to the world of porn. Things like anal and deepthroating, or both of those things in that order, are starting to become ‘standard’ practices in porn. As men become more and more desensitised and used to these things, they’re starting to look for dirtier and more depraved videos and images to satisfy their habit, and their dicks, and the porn industry is answering their calls.

Imagine what it’s like to go into work and your boss says ‘oh right well today what we’re going to do is have about five guys fuck you in the arse and then you’ll have to suck them all off and take a few loads in the eye, and then we’ll break for lunch.’ If I’m honest, I could say something ten times worse than that, but I think that’ll do to get my point across. I can’t really begin to imagine what it’d be like to be a woman in the porn industry, I think you literally would have to be one to have any idea. I do know that a huge amount of these women turn to drugs and alcohol in an attempt to make things ‘better’ for themselves, and when that’s the case you know something’s systematically wrong with the whole thing. I also know that a great deal of porn stars, both male and female, have committed suicide.

The reason why these women willingly let themselves be abused, and why the men give their days up for endless, meaningless fucking is for money. One of the things I hate most in the world. It seems that anyone will do anything when you throw in a pound (or dollar) sign and a few numbers after it. Money is the thing which makes people completely abandon their morals and ethics in pursuit of a new watch or a better, faster car or a bigger house, but is it all really worth it when they are effectively destroying themselves by being puppets in something as horrible and destructive as the porn industry? The psychological and physical effects of the industry must stay with porn stars for countless years after they retire, or perhaps for as long as they live, which may not be that long if they contract an incurable sexually transmitted diseases, such as AIDS, which some porn stars have died of in the past. I don’t know whether or not they contracted these diseases whilst filming porn, as they no doubt had sex outside of ’work’ too, but it stands a good chance.

I imagine that the whole thing can be very alluring to a naïve girl of eighteen. Fly out to California and get paid thousands of dollars to get fucked, it can’t be that bad, right? Well, I cant imagine that she’s thinking that when she’s got three cocks inside her simultaneously and she’s got to swallow the contents of them in about two minutes time. I imagine that the actors and actresses involved become dependant on the lifestyle and hooked on drugs and drink, and so they need the lucrative wage on offer in order to sustain their very expensive habit. I can’t be completely sure because I’m not involved in the industry, but I’d imagine that that’s how a lot of these women end up. I can’t envisage many more lifestyles which are worse than getting brutally fucked and abused to fund a habit which is slowly killing you.

Aside from the horrific effects that porn has on the people directly involved in it, it also has far reaching effects across the whole of society, on a worldwide scale. If boys as young as eleven are viewing hardcore porn, then surely they will start to expect their girlfriends to be up for doing the things that they regularly view online when they become sexually active, whatever age that may be at. I would also imagine that some boys forcefully ‘convince’ their girlfriends into doing things that they have seen in porn, until they give in, against their best wishes. I also think that porn leads to violence against women in modern day society, because a lot of the practices involved in hardcore porn are violent and very aggressive and there are also simulated rape scenes online, which can’t be a great influence on the mind of anyone, let alone a boy in his early teens.

I believe that the pornography industry will always thrive and most likely grow, and that porn will always be a commonplace thing in society, because people will always give into their carnal desires and indulge in it. As long as this keeps happening these women will continually be abused, and will let themselves be abused for the financial rewards that the porn industry offers, regardless of the state in which it leaves their minds and bodies. Some porn stars get out early, in the case of Sasha Grey, for example, who filmed her last pornographic movie at the age of 21. However, a great majority of them do not escape and instead end up in a world of drug addiction, prostitution and even end up taking their own lives. You make up your own minds as to whether the porn industry is worthwhile.

'Benefits Street' and the real corruption in the World

Ahh, ‘Benefits Street.’ Another programme designed to highlight the lifestyles of the ‘scum’ of Britain, the very worst of society. A programme which is created in order to promote a public outcry towards people who are claiming benefits, all of whom are obviously dossers who never actively seek employment, of course.

I saw it coming the moment that I saw the title ‘Benefits Street.’ It was inevitable. A programme which is essentially designed to promote government cuts and vilify the unemployed, thus making the governments measures seem almost fair. About as fair as cutting hundreds if not thousands of jobs by the day (I don’t keep track of the exact job cutting statistics, I just know that David Cameron should be dragged into the street outside 10 Downing Street and be put into the stocks, and that is a very toned down version of what I could really say about him) and then imposing sanctions on people for refusing to work 10 and a half hour shifts at hell-hole, tax dodging companies such as Amazon. I'm pissed off to a ridiculous degree with programmes like ‘Benefits Street’ which aim to lambaste and ridicule people who don’t have a job in this ridiculous time of worldwide austerity, being judged by people who just happened to have a mate or a family member who ‘got them in’ somewhere despite having absolutely no idea how to actually do their job to any passable standard.

Now I'm not saying that some of the people on ‘Benefits Street’ aren't scroungers, because let’s face it fungi and his mate Danny are shoplifters who most likely don’t make trying to find a job their main priority in life, but only showing the worst case scenarios of people who claim benefits helps to create a nationwide loathing towards everyone on benefits. The thing is though, whether or not what these people are doing is right or wrong, the culture as a whole wouldn't have to exist if money wasn't the driving force in the world, the thing that you are slated for not having enough of, the thing that you are expected to devote so much of your time to obtain and accumulate, sacrificing your family life, your sleep or your health, or quite possibly all three of these things at the same time.

The people featured on ‘Benefits Street’ are the victims of corruption on a much higher scale, do you think that these people really want to live their lives the way that they do? Maybe some of them do, maybe they’re quite content with shoplifting and then selling on their stolen goods for a small profit, but not many people on benefits are like that. How about a programme called ‘banker’s street’ where the corpulent, greedy bastards at the head of the hierarchical structure of HSBC are exposed for laundering almost a billion dollars for Mexican drug cartels in America. Yeah guess what, there are a lot more important things in the world than people scrounging a bit of benefit money off the corrupt ocean of dickheads and liars that we call ‘the Government’. What attract your attention more, $881 million dollars of Mexican drug money knowingly laundered for murderers in the USA ‘the greatest country in the World’ or Mark and Becky in Birmingham who fiddled something between £1000-£1500 a month in benefits? No one even went to prison for the unbelievable, ridiculous, mind blowing corruption at HSBC. You know who the real criminals are, open your eyes. This is just one small puddle in a vast sea of corruption.

I could delve into all sorts of cases of deceit and corruption which occurs at the top of big companies, businesses,  banks, in the porn industry etc. but I don’t know if my word document has enough pages to contain my fury. I intended this article to be solely about ‘Benefit’s Street’ when I started to write it ,with, perhaps, one or two digs at David Cameron and the shambolic government, but once I started to touch on the topic of corruption I couldn't help but launch a torrent of abuse and I do not apologise for it, nor should I. 

The Sexual Exploitation and objectification of Women in the Media

Sex sells, it’s a fact. 

You may think this to be an unusual topic for a 21 year old man to be delving into, why would I harbour any concern about what lies behind the blonde hair, big tits and high heels that presents itself as the face of many television programmes, adverts and well.. Just about anything in the media in this day and age? 

I recently had the great displeasure of viewing The Victoria’s Secret fashion show, a gratuitous carnival of ‘perfect’ women strutting about in nothing but some lingerie (very high end and expensive so of course you must buy it right now!) and some heels. A picture of perfection you could say, why wouldn’t I be drawn into this maddening sexual feast for the eyes, especially as I’d not long finished my Christmas Dinner and it could have been deemed as the perfect dessert. It is baffling circus’s like this which try and construct a ridiculous paradigm of physical perfection for Women and which essentially become a ‘yes, yes, definitely, yes till she can’t walk’ slideshow for men which are incredibly damaging to society and, in all truth, more sickening than having a third slice of Christmas cake.

There is a deep-rooted and historical problem which lies behind the misogynistic representation of Women in the media. It seems to me that any woman, provided she fulfils the correct ‘formula’ which is set down by the producers hiding somewhere backstage, can be portrayed as nothing more than a sex object and her intelligence and input to the production of the show can become secondary behind the superficial elements of her persona. 

Don’t get me wrong there are examples of naked Women being used as an art form, imagine Titanic without the famous ‘Jack, I want you to draw me like one of your French girls’ scene. This may be a very literal example of nudity as Art, but there are examples in mainstream media of tasteful and, I would go as far as to say, beautiful and empowering images of Women bearing all, but these examples are few and far between, tangled up in the general smut which is underlying in almost all things these days.

Idolisation, fame and the sale of products come far too readily from pure image and superficial values. Real talent and ability seems to be easily overlooked and it is this mainstream, almost impossible to avoid marketing which creates pressure on girls from an increasingly young age to look the way that the people in the mind bending media tell them that they should look. This inevitably leads them to believe that the most important pursuit in life is physical perfection, forever fighting the voice inside their head, the voice of sanity and reason it could be called, which is telling them to put that make up down and do something… what’s that word? Worthwhile. 

I’m not sure how far the image of Women in the media will ever change if I’m honest, as long as sex exists (and I do believe that’s a thing that will never lose its popularity somehow) it will always be an enormous selling point for almost everything, which is a sad thing.